The Love Bug Quotes

0[during the big race, Thorndyke knocks Herbie off the road and down a hill]

Jim Douglas: Now wait a minute, theres something cockeyed about this. How did that little car get here?

Carole: Mr. Douglas, if there is anything wrong with the car, would you be good enough to tell me what it is?

Mr. Thorndyke: If youll examine paragraph twelve…

Van Hippy: Huh, a couple of weirdos, Guenivere.

Jim Douglas: Well, theres nothing essentially wrong with the car. Its just that it wants to go one way, and Id like to go the other.

Havershaw: Thats what I always say, sir.

Live and Swingin: The Ultimate Rat Pack Collection – 2003

2Sammy Davis Jr.: [Frank Sinatra] IS responsible for this evening.

[Thorndyke kicks not-yet-named Herbie the little white car in his shop]

Mr. Thorndyke: What in the name of – -…

Detective: On suspicion of grand theft.

0[Jim brings the malfunctioning Herbie back to Thorndyke. It accidentally bangs against Thorndykes Rolls Royce and stops. Jim gets out]

1Mr. Thorndyke: I salute your honesty, my dear, a quality not necessarily to be despised.

Jim Douglas: I dont know how you rigged it, but Im sure that car is a real cut-up when a convention comes to town.

Carole: Mr. Douglas, if there is anything wrong with the car, would you be good enough to tell me what it is?

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Sammy Davis Jr.: I think somebody should say it. Cause I know of no other individual who could put on this type of show in the way he did. It was marvelous, the way he just picked up a phone and then said Be there.

Carole: Excuse me, Mr. Thorndyke, but if I sold this gentleman a car, I feel a certain responsibility.

0Detective: [to Jim, about the not-yet-named Herbie white VW bug] Forgive me for pointing, but have you ever seen that car before?

Detective: Now, permit me to inform you of the following: first, say nothing that would jeopardize your constitutional rights. And second, the minute that you get downtown, I suggest you find yourself a good lawyer. Shall we go?

Jim Douglas: I ran out of pride when I ran out of cars.

0Tennessee Steinmetz: [holding a pot full of coffee while using a welding iron to fire it up, and wearing big gloves] The trick is always remember to have asbestos gloves when you make coffee this way.

Jim Douglas: If Id wanted a trick car, I would have bought one at a joke shop.

0Bice: You used to be a big-track driver, aint you got no pride?

Mr. Thorndyke: Id say its gone for that last big lube job up yonder.The Love Bug

Jim Douglas: [stammering] I brought it back. I want my money, I want the papers I signed, and then Ill get outta here, and you two clowns can have your little laugh.

Jim Douglas: Well, why dont you let the little car alone?

Jim Douglas: How do you know all that?

1Lee Evans: [about a man who speaks really loudly on a cillit bang advert] He must have really nervous kids at home, hed be reading them a bedtime story at night: Once upon a time… there was a dirty toilet!Lee Evans: Big Live at the O2

1Lawyer: Its the Mormons. Im outta here, youre on your own.

Jim Douglas: Well, why dont you let the little car alone?

Carole: I have trouble with names and faces, but I never forget a car.

Carole: [getting in] I wont be a minute.The Love Bug

Jim Douglas: Well, theres nothing essentially wrong with the car. Its just that it wants to go one way and Id like to go the other.

Mr. Thorndyke: How true it is that the simplest ways are the best ways after all.

Jim Douglas: I ran out of pride when I ran out of cars.The Love Bug

Jesus Christ: Now, who are the Mormons again?The Book of Life

Jim Douglas: What do you mean, THAT Jim Douglas?

Mr. Thorndyke: Well, whatever it is, none of it is covered in our guilt-headed guarantee.

0Jim Douglas: Without a real car, Im only half a man.

Jim Douglas: Oh, Im sure of that.The Love Bug

2[during the big race, Thorndyke and Havershaw have switched the signs leading to Placerville and the Lost Bonanza Mine]

Mr. Thorndyke: You come billowing up in that beastly little car, and assault my personal Rolls Royce.

Detective: I share your curiosity. Shall we go?

Jim Douglas: Ok, Im out of line. It just bugs me to see somebody abusing a decent piece of machinery.

Mr. Thorndyke: Oh, shut up.The Love Bug

0Carole: Help, Im a prisoner! I cant get out!

Jim Douglas: Look, lady, by profession, Im a racing driver.

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0Tennessee Steinmetz: [holding a pot full of coffee while using a welding iron to fire it up, and wearing big gloves] The trick is always remember to have asbestos gloves when you make coffee this way.The Love Bug

0Carole: Have you had much experience with cars?

Mr. Thorndyke: Allow me to say that I havent the slightest idea what youre talking about.

Jim Douglas: [he gestures for her to go ahead, and he and Carole head over to Herbie]

Sammy Davis Jr.: I immediately called Martin Luther King and he gave me the okay and I came.

Van Hippy: We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.

0[Thorndyke kicks not-yet-named Herbie the little white car in his shop]

0Tennessee Steinmetz: Jim, its happening right under our noses and we cant see it. We take machines and we stuff em with information until theyre smarter than we are. Take a car. Most guys spread more love and time and money on their car in a week than they do on their wife and kids in a year. Pretty soon, you know what? The machine starts to think it *is* somebody.

Mr. Thorndyke: [as Carole joins him] Allow me to say that I havent the slightest idea what youre talking about. You come billowing up in that beastly little car, and assault my personal Rolls Royce.

Jim Douglas: [takes another look] Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I saw that car at an agency yesterday.

Mr. Thorndyke: [shocked] Miss Bennett! Our dinner engagement!

2Sammy Davis Jr.: It is true that Im an American Negro who – I have adopted Judaism as a faith. Everybody knows that and all the comics make jokes and I do it in self-defense. I would also like to let you know something that youre probably not aware of. My mother is a Puerto Rican. My mothers maiden name was Alvira Sanchez. This is true. And that means Im colored, Jewish, and Puerto Rican. When I move into a neighborhood, I wipe it out!

[Jim nods and motions her to go ahead; they go over to the VW Bug]

Jim Douglas: If Id wanted a trick car, I would have bought one at a joke shop.

Jim Douglas: Ok, Im out of line. It just bugs me to see somebody abusing a decent piece of machinery.The Love Bug

Mr. Thorndyke: What in the name of…

Mr. Thorndyke: Are you presuming to tell me what to do in my own establishment?

Jim Douglas: …I brought it back! I want my money, I want the papers I signed, and then Ill get outta here, and you two clowns can, can have your little laugh.

Mr. Thorndyke: [shocked] Miss Bennett! Our dinner engagement!

Live and Swingin: The Ultimate Rat Pack Collection – 2003

0Carole: Excuse me, Mr. Thorndyke, but if I sold this gentleman the car, I feel a certain responsibility.

Carole: Lets see, two years ago, at Laguna Seca, you spun out and hung a beautiful Buick Special on the back fence. At Willow Springs, a year ago last February, you sprayed a Lotus all over the infield.

Jim Douglas: I dont know how you rigged it, but Im sure that car is a real cut-up when a convention comes to town.

Mr. Thorndyke: Well, whatever it is, none of it is covered in our guilt-headed guarantee.

0[Jim brings the malfunctioning Herbie back to Thorndyke. It accidentally bangs against Thorndykes Rolls Royce and stops. Jim gets out]

The words you need by the people you admire.

0Bice: You used to be a big track driver, aint you got no pride?

The Most Brilliant Thoughts of All Time (In Two Lines or Less)

Tennessee Steinmetz: Hey, hes a cute little fellow.

Write a comment about the quote above…

Mr. Thorndyke: Are you presuming to tell me what to do in my own establishment?

The Love Bug Quotes


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