Julie: Looks like Norman Bates is playing soccer.
0Dr. Von Kemp: Remember when you get a job make sure your boss is taller than you. That way its easier to kiss his ass.Ladybugs
0[Chester is helping Matthew adjust his wig in a dressing room while a lady outside eavesdrops]
0Chester: Julie, look at what youre eating, I thought you were getting in shape. What happened to the weight lifting class?
0Julie: Now hes kissing the daughters ass.Ladybugs
0Chester: Whats the point in being the best, if it only brings out your worst?Ladybugs
Julie: The best player we have? Well, what about Larimer over there, the little black girl? Shes the best player we have! You know that black people are the best at sports, cmon! Were the best runners, the fastest runners, the best at track. Were the best at baseball, the best at boxing, the best at basketball, football. Hey, you name it!
1Chester: Youve got to change your behavior.
0Chester: We have a chance. Like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.Ladybugs
0Carmelita Chu: My name is Carmelita Chu. I collect butterflies.Ladybugs
0Chester: I tell you, that Welfelt has power. You know, with the right training, she could be the best player we have!
Matthew: No, I dont want to go home. Come on, gimme another one.
Matthew: God, I cant believe Im doing this!
Chester: Just remember, we gotta be careful. I dont want your mother to find out, shell kill me.
Soda Shop Counterman: Kid, the way youre drinkin, you must have a girl problem.
0Chester: I dressed her son up like a girl, and invited him to play with me.Ladybugs
Chester: Whatd you do? A girl doesnt give the opposing team the finger and tell their coach, Up yours! A girl doesnt refer to the referee a blind bastard. A girl doesnt slap another girl on the ass and say, Youre hot stuff! And a girl doesnt say I gotta take a leak so bad I can taste it!
Chester: I guess youre going to play, too, huh?Ladybugs
Soda Shop Counterman: Kid, with this girl, I dont know what youre doin, but you must be doin it wrong.Ladybugs
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Soda Shop Counterman: Kid, youve had enough. Youre gonna spoil your dinner. Why dont you go on home?
Write a comment about the quote above…
Chester: Whatd you do? A girl doesnt give the opposing team the finger and tell their coach, Up yours! A girl doesnt refer to the referee a blind bastard. A girl doesnt slap another girl on the ass and say, Youre hot stuff! And a girl doesnt say I gotta take a leak so bad I can taste it!Ladybugs
: Youve got to change your behavior.
Soda Shop Counterman: With girls, I been through it all. I been stood up, shook up, hung up, screwed up, and tied up. Whats your problem? Yall have a fight?
Matthew: No, no, no, we never fight. No, we get along great. We laugh together, we like the same music, the same sports. No, we get along just great.
Chester: Hey, after the game no showers.Ladybugs
The Most Brilliant Thoughts of All Time (In Two Lines or Less)
0Chester: Well, you know how it is – boys want to be girls, girls want to be boys. Sometimes theyre both.Ladybugs
0Chester: Two-story house. Yeah before you buy it they give you one story, after you move in you get another story.Ladybugs
Matthew: Ow! Take it easy, that hurts!
The words you need by the people you admire.
0Coach Annie: Well, I know what my girls can do. And I just want to tell you that your team is going to get crushed!
0[Matthew walks in dressed as Martha]
Soda Shop Counterman: Tell me about it. Maybe I could help.
You dont have to be a genius to sound like one. Heres a collection of the most profound and provocative wit and wisdom in the English language in two lines or less. Edited by entrepreneur John M. Shanahan, who created the wildly successful Hooked on Phonics program, this wonderful book presents the best that has been thought and said on every imaginable topic.
Chester: Eeesh, black people are best at sports. Are you kidding? How about hockey? And waterpolo? Fencing! Best at sports… hey, badminton! Yachting! Best at sports… Oh, I forgot fox hunting! Best in sports…Ladybugs
0Chester: Hes playing like a psycho, hes nuts!
Chester: Dont worry, Ill be finished soon.
Chester: Dont worry, if its too tight youll get used to it.Ladybugs
Julie: Oh Im doing good. I mean this is heavy.Ladybugs
0Chester: What a lady. When she walks in a room, mice jump on chairs. At Christmas they hang her and kiss the mistletoe. I tell ya if she went to a dog show, shed win.Ladybugs
Soda Shop Counterman: Then whats the problem?